The Hug That Waits

NEXTletter turns fears into energy: We ask a question, share perspectives and an experiment to help you and your organization move from anxiety to action – with a future-ready mindstate - every other week.

Author

Frederik Pferdt
June 20, 2025

Prefer to listen 📻 > click here.

Because trust isn’t something you say. It’s something you stay for.

Let me tell you a story. At Disneyland, every character follows a quiet but powerful rule:
When a child runs into Mickey’s arms, the hug lasts…
until the child lets go.

No matter how long the line is.
No matter how hot the costume gets.
The hug isn’t on the adult’s clock.
It’s on the child’s.

They call it The Disney Rule.
And once I heard it, I couldn’t forget it.
Because it flipped something in me.

Most of us hug like we live—on our terms.
We initiate. We exit. We move on.
But what if next time… you didn’t?
What if you offered a hug—and let the other person decide when it ends?

ONE QUESTION TO HOLD

What happens when you stop managing the moment—and start trusting it?

TWO SHIFTS THAT HAPPEN

when you lead with trust.

1️⃣ It creates a pocket of safety.

Not a grand gesture. Just presence. Staying in a hug says: “I’m here. I’m not rushing. You decide.”

And research agrees: Hugs that last 8 seconds or more trigger oxytocin, lower stress hormones, and calm the nervous system.

In that space, we begin to feel something rare: safe.

2️⃣ It changes you, too.

Leading with trust means releasing control. And that’s hard. But in that vulnerability lives something beautiful:

Patience. Empathy. Deep, human connection.

These are the muscles the future asks us to build. In the most innovative teams I’ve seen—at Google and beyond—what makes the difference is not just talent or tools, but trust.

A moment from my life  

I love hugging people.

But lately, I’ve tried something different.
When I hug someone, I don’t let go first. I just stay.

At first, it’s awkward.
You can feel the surprise.
They expect the usual quick squeeze-and-release.

But then… something shifts.
They soften.
They settle.
It’s as if, in that extra second, they realize:
“Oh… this is for me.”

That tiny pause becomes a silent permission to be.
To rest.
To feel trusted.

If you were one of the thousands of people who joined me on the Zukunftsgeist Tour, you already know—I don’t just talk about trust, I invite it. One long, quiet hug at a time. The kind that settles into your nervous system.

ONE EXPERIMENT

NEW PODCAST EPISODE - The Future Is HOW

🎙️ Esther Wojcicki lives this principle of leading with trust. 

She raised three remarkable daughters—including the CEO of YouTube, the cofounder of 23andMe and a Professor—mentored world-shaping leaders, and reimagined how we educate people, from classrooms to boardrooms.

Her radical message?

“If you want to raise a future-ready human—or lead a thriving team—start by trusting them.”

In our conversation, Esther shares the parenting philosophy trick that transformed her home—and the leadership approach that’s reshaping schools and organizations around the world.

She talks about how to build trust when things are uncertain, what makes young people resilient, and why how we show up might matter more than what we say.

🎧 Esther Wojcicki on The Future is HOW
From Silicon Valley to your living room, this episode will reshape how you lead, love, and listen. Trust first. Stay longer. Shape what’s next.

📺 Watch our conversation (exclusive to our community) here.
🎧 Listen now on your favorite podcast app.

Let me know what you discover. And if this gave you a breath of fresh perspective, share it with a friend who might love to lead with trust.

With love,
Frederik